My absence, part 2: Doing the wrong things, or getting trapped in the Web

This is where I confess my secret: Hi, I'm Robin, and I'm an Internet addict. And possibly a rage-oholic. Because the time that I have spent online in between my adventures of the past few months has mostly been spent getting angry. I haven't been productive because I've been allowing myself to get sucked into the dark vortices of the Internet instead of trying to contribute some light to it.

I once described the Internet to a friend as "pretty much nothing but cats, porn and outrage." Which I realize is a bold and hypocritical statement for a blogger, but it's true -- or mostly true. I forgot misinformation and entire forums full of delusional people feeding each other's paranoia. That's on the Internet, too. Oh, and stalkers. How could I forget stalkers? I acquired one and had to shut down my old Twitter account, change passwords, do pre-emptive blocking on other social media sites. I'm sure he's found this blog by now -- hi, Robert! -- but I'm not going to let him take this away from me.

Anyway, back to my Internet problem, if not the Internet problem: It really messes with your head.

Humans are not meant to stare at glowing rectangles this much

Oversaturation: I don't know how many hours I have spent in the last 6 months online, letting strangers tell me what it is I should be pissed off about or terrified of on any given day. It's not that I'm anti-awareness or anti-news -- it's that if you see something often enough, it begins to take over your mind and your mood. Take street harassment. I know it's a problem. I've experienced it, and it's upsetting when it happens, and I try to talk to people about it so that they're aware of the problem and maybe try to help put an end to it. But if I read 20 articles about street harassment in a 48-hour period, suddenly I am ready to go ballistic in the real world. I am ready to snap at a casual acquaintance who tells me he likes my outfit. It becomes overload. The same thing happens with issues I'm only marginally interested in -- Twitter flame wars between celebrities I don't even pay that much attention to. Yet if they're arguing, and if half the people I know on social media are talking about it, or if there are "news" stories about it, all of a sudden it's like watching a soap opera that never rolls closing credits. It just keeps going. And so I keep watching. And it's a time suck and an energy suck and it adds nothing to my life or the lives of others.

This gives you a little endorphin surge?: "Likes" and "favorites" are like little virtual hamster treats we give each other's brains. Someone approves of something I said! Someone thinks a photo I took is nice! Yay! "Liking" and "favoriting" is nice and all, and the sentiment is appreciated, but it's lazy on the part of the "liker" and far too important to the receiver of the "like." ("Likeee? Isn't that some kind of fruit?) I find myself getting either smug or depressed about how many "likes" my posts get on Facebook and Instagram. Favorites and retweets on Twitter don't mean that much to me if for no other reason than there is such a fast and vast stream of information on Twitter that things get lost in the flow; I halfway don't expect anybody to see anything I post there. But oh, God, if I don't get that approval, that external validation, of my life as presented on other social media, it actually -- if briefly -- affects my mood. And it's stupid. And I know it's stupid. Which is why I'm cautioning you about letting it affect you, too.

THE YEAR IS 2016. FACEBOOK DOWN FOR TWO YEARS NOW. AMERICA'S NEW MOMS ROAM THE STREETS. IS MY BABY PRETTY? THEY SAY. PLEASE LIKE MY BABY.
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) August 1, 2014

Is this the real life? Is it just fantasy?: The other night, some friends were joking, "I'm gonna send you a friend request in real life!" Maybe we should all start doing that more. Back in the days of Livejournal, I imagined that social media would be a great supplement to real-life relationships. People you don't get to see that often, you can still communicate with and keep up with, and people you see all the time, you can make plans to do stuff in real life. Instead, more people seem to be settling for the online experience of a friendship than actually taking the time to see each other face-to-face. Social media has become a substitute for social life, and it can get frustrating. I work at home. I am here and awake sometimes 12 hours a day. Don't Facebook message me -- call me and let's go have a cup of tea.

Facebook drama: I won't even go into detail but oh, dear God, the things I have seen ... Facebook is the perfect place to willfully misunderstand a stranger's comment and assume it means the worst possible thing, then take out your anger on that stranger who meant something completely different. It is also great for passive-aggressiveness, making everything all about you, spreading misinformation and having temper tantrums. (I have been guilty of some of these things in the past, I know.) And then there's "vaguebooking." Example: You stub your toe on the coffee table for the third time in a week. You post: "You bastard, how many times are you going to hurt me?!?!?!?!?!!!" And all your friends come to your virtual rescue and tell you how awesome you are because fuck that guy. Facebook is wonderful for keeping up with friends and planning events and sharing pictures and remembering good times, but it is also fraught with crazy, and thus it can make you crazy.

Even Tom gets sucked into the Web.

Comments on YouTube and everything else: If you ever think you might have developed too much faith in humanity, just read the comments section on any YouTube video and really, just about any article posted online. You will see the weirdest, angriest, most irrational things come out of people's fingertips and onto the glowing rectangle in front of you. If there's a video of Shirley Temple singing "Animal Crackers," there is probably a comment underneath it about how the Ebola virus is opening the Seventh Seal, Miley Cyrus and the Duck Dynasty dude are raising opposing armies in preparation for a psychic war, and Jesus will be coming back to throw (pick a politician) into the depths of Hell. Why are these people spewing hatred and delusion? And the bigger question, why am I reading it?

And finally ...

Nobody knows how to act in public anymore: We do everything online. We watch movies and TV online. We socialize online. We play games online. As a result, we act like the whole world is our living room. The sense of etiquette and decorum, of basic manners, is disappearing because after spending so much time eating popcorn in our underwear while chatting with friends online, we are socially dysfunctional now.

So this is the other reason why I haven't been blogging lately: The Internet got my mind. I plan on backing away from large parts of it and not seeking out things that piss me off (which, let's be honest, will be easier now that the election is over).

There are plenty of good things online and on social media -- it is great for making plans with friends, there are a lot of educational websites and things like TED Talks and online shopping and lectures and books and videos and music and marvelous things. And blogging allows a person to share her life with other people and maybe say something that resonates with or makes a difference to somebody else. But for the past six months I have been doing a lot of the wrong things online. I've actually made myself a "Not To Do" list, and it includes not reading comments on YouTube videos and online articles, along with not spending more than 9 hours a day online during the week (I work online for 8 hours, and I give myself more time online if I'm writing or doing something creativity-related). This fantastic innovation is a marvelous thing, and it has its place and function, but it can also suck the humanity right out of you if you let it. Don't let it. Now get up and call a friend!